Whether or not you bother with formal resolutions, the beginning of a new year brings with it an opportunity to take stock of your life, figure out what’s working and what could use some tweaking, and start afresh.
Of course, we all have different things we need to, or want to, work on. Diet and fitness are a big focus this time of year, as are giving up bad habits like smoking or biting nails. But what about resolving to do things that change your life in a different kind of way? What about resolving to have a happier family?
I’ve seen a few great posts on the topic around the blogosphere this week and thought I’d share them here. Feel free to link to your own post on happiness in the new year in the comments section!
Over at her blog MamaPundit, Katie Allison Granju asks: What makes for a happy family? From her post:
Why do I think of MY family as happy despite some less than perfect circumstances when I know other people who look better on paper, but who – if you asked them – would tell you that their family – both nuclear and extended – “has problems” or even come right out and say that they are unhappy? Is it all an attitude thing? Am I just in denial? I mean, every family has challenges and warts and bruises. No family’s circumstances are perfect. So why do some families let these circumstances define them, while others do not?
At The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin advises making one small, easy-to-maintain resolution:
When I started my happiness project, I asked myself, “What do I want less of in my life?” Among other things, I decided I wanted less yelling at my children in the morning, less nagging my husband, less feeling guilty about eating fake food. I also asked myself, “What do I want more of in my life?” I decided I wanted more being silly, more time imitating a spiritual master, more hugging and kissing in my family.
Speaking of one small, easy-to-do thing, at Toni Klym McClellan’s blog Bring the Family, she writes about a very cool concept, the Happy Jar:
Every week, have each family member write something good that’s happening in their lives on a small piece of paper and put it in the happy jar that you made on New Year’s Eve (or Day). At year’s end, empty the jar and have the family read all of the wonderful memories from the year before. Simple fun combined with family togetherness–can’t beat that.
The idea for the happy jar came from Sarah at This Mom’s Wired, who also started a Happy Jar Flickr group for families to record their own jars. I have to admit that in our family, a project like this would run the danger of becoming filled with inappropriate jokes or drawings of butts, but finding a jar full of that next New Year’s would certainly make us all happy, and that’s kind of the point, isn’t it?
And while I’m talking about family happiness, I want to mention a project by Kristen Chase, AKA The Mominatrix: 2010: A Sexual Resolution. It’s a month-long challenge to engage in simple exercises to help them moms relocate that missing–or just sleepy–libido. If you’re feeling shy–or already know exactly where your libido is–you can just follow along as Kristen takes the challenge herself.
Okay, so sex isn’t a family activity, but I figure a tune-up in this area can only lead to more family happiness. After all, as Kristen says:
31 Days. Thousands of very happy partners. But even better, thousands of very happy moms.
And as I’ve said before, a happy mom makes for a happy family. So check out Kristen’s blog!
How about you? Will you resolve to have a happier family in 2010-and how?
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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
I like the idea of resolving to be happier in 2010. And I especially like the idea of asking what I want less of and more of in my life. All too often resolutions are about nebulous goals that really just make us feel guilty, and don’t even reflect what we actually want.
So, what do I want less of this year? Less yelling, and less disorder. And what do I want more of? Time to write, and time outdoors with my kids. I think I can do those things.
I think the second part of your closing question is the critical one – not only what we resolve, but how we plan to carry it out. I often find myself falling into the trap of making abstract resolutions without any particular plan of action. So, in that spirit, I join you in resolving to have a happier family in 2010 – but how? By enlisting enough childcare to make sure Husband and I both have enough time to pursue a modest amount of our own interests (both independently and together). By logging off the computer when my sons wake up from their afternoon naps so that I can focus on being present in each moment with them. By making sure we all get adequate sleep nutrition.
Thanks for another thought-provoking post.
Great site. I too just want to be the happiest mom & “gramma” I can be to my 6 kids and 13 grandchildren. You know the old saying “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy! We have a big responsibility!
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