If you’ve ever taken a psychology class, you’ve probably heard of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Created by psychologist Abraham Maslow in the 1940s, the pyramid illustrates human needs in order of importance, from the bottom up: first the basic human needs required for survival, followed by those necessary for self-actualization, happiness and fulfillment. Ideally, a person’s needs are filled from the bottom up, with “peak experiences” resting comfortably atop a strong foundation of health, safety, and a sense of belonging. After all, creativity and achievement are great, but they’ll be hard to enjoy if you don’t get enough sleep or you’re constantly in danger of losing your home.
Moms are no different than other humans. We need to eat, sleep and breathe; we crave security, we desire support and companionship, and we have richer lives when we are able to follow creative pursuits or use our skills and talents. But mothers face specific circumstances and challenges, so here’s my interpretation of Maslow’s hierarchy especially for moms: the Mother’s Hierarchy of Needs.
*Edited to add: On Karen‘s excellent suggestion, I added “physical and emotional safety of yourself and children” to the “security” level. Thanks Karen!
In the next few weeks I’m going to get into a more in-depth analysis of the pyramid. But I think Maslow was right on, don’t you? It’s hard to enjoy your kids if you aren’t eating well or getting enough sleep. It’s hard to be confident in your parenting if you aren’t getting enough support from friends and/or family. It’s difficult to find the time or resources to follow a hobby if you aren’t financially stable. Sure, from time to time some of these needs aren’t going to be met and you can still be happy, but spending an extended period of time without sleep, or stressed about money, or lonely and isolated? That makes it pretty hard to be satisfied with your life.
In looking over Mother’s Hierarchy of Needs, do any levels jump out as areas you need to strengthen to create a strong foundation for happiness?
**Like the Mother’s Hierarchy of Needs? Feel free to cut/paste the graphic and put it on your own site–I just ask that you give credit and embed a link back to The Happiest Mom. Thanks!**
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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
Hm. I think you missed out on “Safety” as a primary, bottom level element (as in nothing else on the pyramid matters if you or the kids are being abused…)
But I like it. A LOT.
Momartfully’s last blog post..On not "raising my own kids"
Meagan, this is FANTASTIC. What a great model to use for mom happiness!
Good point on safety–I think that would go in the pink level. Chris, glad you like it!
Love it! My entire blog is based on the top level because I fully believe we all deserve to reach it. I’d love to share this with my readers if you don’t mind?
H.E.Eigler’s last blog post..Why toddlers shouldn’t use Pay Per View services – Heather’s POV
This is wonderful…and getting me thinking. Thanks.
Annie @ PhD in Parenting’s last blog post..(Not quite) Wordless Wednesday: A Tale of Two Dinners
First of all, I’m just loving this site. I can’t believe how often I find myself nodding with recognition when I read the posts.
This pyramid is interesting to me. I definitely think that the bottom item belongs where it is. For the past nine months I have been chronically overtired. We just went on vacation and have been staying with family who are willing to get up and help out with the kids in the morning. After just a week, I feel like a new person.
I guess what I’m wondering as I look at this is about the idea of balance. When I look at the top three items in particular, I feel as though I need different amounts of the things at different times and that when I have too much of one and not enough of another, I start to feel all out of whack.
Mara’s last blog post..Take me out to the ballgame!!!
I love that “clean house” is nowhere on the pyramid! Good work.
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Mind if I use this in my next piece for the CMB?
cindyfey’s last blog post..Rock And Roll!
Do you want me to dig out my mother’s Intro Psych notes? Maslow was her instructor. I swear. True.
ParentopiaDevra’s last blog post..The Jon & Kate Effect
Interesting! (Found my way here via PhD in Parenting). I may have to think more about this and blog it a bit. (Personally, I think that I would switch the Social Needs & the Self-Actualization levels–I need “my time” far more than I need time with other adults. Or, possibly, even my husband!).
Thomasin, I wonder if the reason that you feel that for you the social needs are less important than the self-actualization is because your social needs are already being met? In other words, you feel like you need more “me” time because you already ARE getting enough socialization and you have people who care about you. If you didn’t have that at all, if you didn’t have anyone who cared if you lived or died, and could choose “there are people who love me” or “time alone to do a crossword puzzle” or whatever, I think most people would want to have some human connection.
Or maybe not!
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