…in a way that works for them. Being a playful mom doesn’t necessarily mean the “get down on the floor and play trucks” type of play. In this interview on the Raising Playful Tots show, I discuss my “play philosophy”, which can be boiled down to a few simple points:
- Give yourself permission to be the mom you are. We aren’t all great at the same things: some moms are naturally crafty, some are musical, some are nature-lovers, some make excellent audience members. Don’t feel “less than” because your strengths aren’t the same as another mom’s. In the interview I share how much I stink at imaginative play with my kids (and why I no longer impose myself in their imaginary world), and why I finally decided that certain organized activities just aren’t for us.
- At the same time, push yourself a little. You don’t have to have an art history background or a home full of only the finest imported German crayons in order for your kids to get a chance to create. I’m about as un-athletic as a person can get, so I sometimes have to force myself to go outside and kick a ball around with the kids…but when I do, I always have fun. (However, as I’ve shared here before, I draw the line at publicly shaking out my sillies.) It’s okay if you don’t actively engage in every activity your kids are into, as long as you still make those activities accessible to your kids. If making play-doh just isn’t your thing, maybe you can do that activity at a craftier friend’s house. Maybe your house is where all the kids play tag, instead.
- Make it easy on yourself. Cleaning up paint off the floor and scraping play-doh off the table isn’t necessarily fun, but it’s less heinous if you put the art supplies in an area where you can get to them easily and throw a mat on the floor under the chair for easier clean-up. An impromptu game of soccer is a lot easier to jump into if you keep a ball–with air in it–near your back door. Assume that these kind of activities will be a regular part of your life, and set up your home to make everything from preparation to clean-up as low-fuss as possible
- Being a playful mom doesn’t always have to mean finger-plays or egg-carton crafts. It’s a state of mind–an attitude of seeing the world around you with wonder, curiosity, and humor, and helping your kids do the same. For example, my two oldest sons and I often launch an impromptu, improvised Broadway-style musical number while doing the dishes, complete with dance breaks. We’re having fun, we’re relaxed, we’re creating…we’re playing!
I’d love to hear about your “play philosophy”. And I know it’s been a long time since I posted…we just bought a house and I’m knee-deep in boxes and paint chips at the moment. I’ll get back to a more regular posting schedule as soon as the dust (literally and figuratively) has settled.
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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Good luck with the new house!
I am crafty myself, but I am HORRIBLE at crafts with kids. I am much better at playing games with them – hide and seek, find the button, chase me around the playground. I am also an excellent funny voice maker, and I animate their stuffed animals and make them speak and act out.
I have found that sometimes I step out of my comfort zone and really enjoy it. But not always. By generally playing to my strengths, I think I find the best balance.
I am the mom who surreptitiously tosses the little tubs of Play Doh the kids get in goody bags. I don’t like cleaning it up. Luckily, they’re not that into it. That’s why I loved daycare; they got to do all the messy crafts that would not happen at home. My idea of play? Setting them up with a board game with their dad while I read The New Yorker nearby. I’m only a little bit kidding, too.
Denise, I totally think one of the biggest benefits of living in an extended “village” (and that village can include your nuclear family, extended family and friends, daycare, church, school, athletic or social organizations, or what have you) is that you don’t have to be everything to your kids. Not into play-doh? Let them do that with somebody else! Feel free to let Grandpa take the kids to t-ball practice or sign them up for swimming lessons so you don’t have to always be the one getting in the freezing cold pool. I’m all about family togetherness, but I can’t be good at everything. “Delegating” certain activities to other people/groups means I can just relax and hang out with my kids and not worry about doing it all.
Amber, I can do the funny voices, too. But apparently my made-up dialogue stinks…at least that’s the message I’ve gotten from my boys.
CONGRATULATIONS on buying your house!
I dance with my kids too. And my girls make me tell them two extravagant, fairy-filled, personalised, made-up stories at bedtime (one for each of them). Sometimes it’s a pain, but mostly I don’t mind.
I’ve noticed that my play is a lot more cuddly and physical than my husband. For example, my son loves it when I say “I’m gonna kiss my baby on his __” and then proceed to give him a big sloppy noisy kiss on his nose/ear/tummy/foot and then do it again with another kissable part. I also “chase” him through a little fisher-price tunnel while telling him “I’m gonna get you”, then I tickle and kiss him once I do catch him. My hubby is much better at silly noises and voices. It will be interesting when he is older because I am NOT athletic but hubby is. We may end up switching roles!
Excellent points you make. It’s the way that we go about it and the attitude that we display toward having fun, when playing this way. Delegate some of the playtime as well and don’t feel guilty about it.
Amanda Alexander PCC (ICF)
Professional coaching for working mothers
I’m definitely not much of the get down on the floor and play type of mom, nor do I enjoy crafts. I like to dance or play chase. And I like to play MarioBros on the Wii – that counts a little right?!
Yep, thank goodness for sharing play activities with others – cause it’s mostly just not my cup of tea!
This is a great post. I’ve tried to do it all and be it all, but just end up tired, frustrated and unhappy. I’ve realized that I’m not a super crafty mom, and I’m not a rough and tumble mom. So, I take my kiddo to playgroups that include crafts and let my husband rough and tumble. It’s all about balance.
What is the trend and how to buy or sell?
I found your blog on Bing, I am very excited about this subject, I am also very excited about green ICF homes, I will be checking on your blog very soon