Sometimes I think we moms become accustomed to thinking of motherhood in terms of what we have to give up when we have children—be it our lifestyle, parts of our identity, freedom or financial stability.
But what about what we gain? I can tell you that I am a better person in many many ways than I was before I had children. Of course, some of that is probably due to maturity and would have happened anyway. But there are absolutely lessons I never would have learned, changes I never would have had to make, if I’d never had kids. For the next few Mondays, I’ll be writing posts about the ways motherhood has changed me for the better—a la my Motherhood Makeover.
First motherhood makeover: Life Skills. In other words, I’m simply a more functional and organized person than I was pre-kids.
In high school and college I was the girl who saved every scrap of paper, who had balled-up notes all over the room, clothes on the floor and dishes in the sink. I couldn’t remember a date to save my life and frequently double- or triple-booked myself by mistake. I never studied for tests and rarely completed assignments on time. I muddled through with nonexistent organizational skills, because though my grades and social life and personal hygiene suffered from their lack, I was still able to stay alive and that seemed like enough at the time.
Enter motherhood. From the moment I found out I was pregnant with my oldest son, I realized things were going to have to change. It didn’t happen overnight, but as I kept track of my prenatal visits, read up on what to expect during labor and birth, and later oversaw the feeding and changing and sleeping habits of a small, totally dependent person, I found myself becoming a lot more organized…because I had to. Jacob was relying on me.
When people find out that I had my first baby at 20, they often say “Oh, there’s no way I could have cared for a baby at that age. I couldn’t even keep a plant alive.” To that I say, don’t be so sure! Having a child is an excellent motivator to get your head on straight, and you never know what you might have been capable of.
It didn’t happen overnight, but motherhood super-charged parts of my brain that formerly didn’t even get used. Whereas I used to have trouble managing just myself, I now manage the needs of five other people—and I do it pretty well. That includes not only short-term commitments (is it our turn to bring in snacks for the kindergarten class? Did my fourth grader finish all his homework today? Did my sixth grader practice his violin?) but also long term ones (where did I store winter clothes last year? When do the boys need to go to the dentist? How much money should I budget for Christmas gifts this year?). I’m not perfect, and sometimes I still forget things, or let the house fall into ruins. But most of the time I am amazed by how well I keep it all together.
When I think back to the sloppy, lazy and scatterbrained girl I was 12 years ago, I realize how much more functional I am now, and breathe a sigh of gratitude for these kids. Without them giving me a swift kick in the behind, who knows if I’d ever learned how to get through the day?
How about you? How is motherhood changing you for the better? I’d love it if you want to join in. If you post about your own Motherhood Makeover, send me the link and I’ll include it in my next post. Or, you can leave the link—or the story itself—in the comments below.
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