Comments on: Moms, leisure time, and busy-ness

By: Simple Kids: Weekend Links — Simple Kids

Simple Kids: Weekend Links — Simple Kids — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 21:20:33 +0000

[...] conversations abound – Moms, leisure time, and busy-ness at The Happiest Mom and Electronics and How Much I Hate Them at Clover [...]

By: Lain

Lain — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 17:47:04 +0000

It’s all about choice. Most of us are overwhelmed with activities, the same way our houses are overwhelmed with stuff. Most of those activities have been brought into our lives through our decisions, consciously or not. If we want to change our sense of overwhelm we need to realize we have the power to do so and quit being victims of our lives. Having three kids, I realize that some amount of overwhelm comes with the territory, so I try to find ways to enjoy those endless tasks (listening to books on CD in the car with my kids as we drive carpool, sitting with them on the couch while they watch movies and I go online, using dinner prep time to connect with my youngest as she “helps” me). Your attitude does make a difference!

By: Emile

Emile — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 02:11:14 +0000

Thanks for writing this. Just today, I was complaining (in my head) that I have no time to myself, that my daily tasks caring for my 11 month old and 2.5 year old are monotonous, that I’m not as good of a mother as I wanted to be, etc., etc. But, you’ve got me thinking that 1- maybe I have more time that I realize and just need to be more mindful of where I spend it and 2- maybe I just need to keep reminding myself to lighten up and have more fun with my bambinos. Here’s hoping I can remember to do this…

By: Denise Schipani

Denise Schipani — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 15:10:48 +0000

Meagan, I read that piece this Sunday, relaxing in a leisurely way at my brother’s house in DC, while my kids did … I’m not sure, but I was relaxing. I knew before I even started reading what I would think: If you tell Americans that they have more leisure time than they think, the first thing they’re going to do is call bullshit. We don’t want to believe that we are, in fact, less busy than our parents were, or our grandparents. It’s the “who’s more stressed?” game, and we love to be the losers.

It’s not in the American DNA to take leisure time seriously, as, say, most Europeans do. They laugh their butts off at us, with our 2 weeks a year vacations. We have a lot at stake (as workers, and as moms, especially) in Being Busy and Stressed. I would say don’t get me started, but now I’m started! I already had plans to blog about this myself — just have to, uh, find the time!

Denise

By: That’s not leisure time, that’s my commute | The 36-Hour Day | Work It, Mom!

Thu, 21 Jan 2010 22:31:52 +0000

[...] Francis at The Happiest Mom writes what most of us are thinking: “Yes, it may be a bit hard to swallow the fact that [...]

By: Kristen @ Motherese

Kristen @ Motherese — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 19:00:53 +0000

Meagan, I am very glad to read your reaction to the Schulte piece in the Post. I initially read the article scratching my head, wondering where my 30 hours of leisure time were going, and, indeed, whether I really had them in the first place.

But I really appreciate the way in which you break down leisure and non-leisure time into a series of choices; for me, this is certainly the way it is. This line – “And just because I don’t always do it perfectly doesn’t mean that leisure time didn’t ‘count’ or wasn’t worth having. I still enjoy it, even if it’s imperfect” – also resonated with me. If I read some blogs, but am interrupted by one of my kids, I need to keep the focus on the fact that I was getting some downtime, not on the fact that I was interrupted.

By: cagey

cagey — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 18:52:56 +0000

I have lots of leisure time. I am working from home now, but I do carve out non-busy time on purpose. I do not do well with running around and a busy schedule. I lived a very hectic life before I had children and knew that I could not keep that up after. Quite simply, I am not a good mother when I get stressed about things and activities piling up. So, purposefully, I make sure to not over schedule us. My children are small – 2.5 and 4 years old. I know the time is coming up where they will have their own activities, even then, I am hoping to keep those at a minimum. It is a hard balance, though.

My favorite leisure time is reading.

By: Kristin T. (@kt_writes)

Kristin T. (@kt_writes) — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 16:17:09 +0000

This is exactly right, Meagan: “…it’s a series of small choices we make and priorities we pursue, and we always have the power to shift it in a new direction.” Because we make choices, I get tired of hearing other moms complain about how busy they are, and how many activities their kids are involved in. It’s fine to acknowledge the busy-ness and support each other in it, but if we’re going to complain about it constantly then we need to reevaluate our lives and make some different decisions.

I work as a freelance writer and blogger about 30 hours a week, and each of my three kids (9, 11 & 13) are usually in one extra-curricular activity at a time. We sit down and eat dinner together as a family most nights of the week, because we have decided that’s important. We play games after dinner instead of watching TV. I used to knit and read more often in the evenings than I do now, but I’ve decided that maintaining my blog is important to me, so I often write posts and respond to comments in the evenings. My husband and I also feel that maintaining our friendships is a priority, so we make time each week to invite people over or meet up for a drink.

I’m not saying these priorities should be everyone’s, I’m just demonstrating how we’ve made choices that reflect our priorities and the life we want to live. We can each do that, rather than trying to keep up with everyone else.

By: Jen

Jen — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 15:46:15 +0000

This is awesome. I freely admit I have a fair amount of leisure time! I only have one child, so far, and she is 8 months old. I work PT, and my daughter goes to bed each night between 6:30 & 7 pm.

I spend too damn much time on Facebook, but that’s another issue (-;

By: Meagan Francis

Meagan Francis — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 13:27:11 +0000

Amber–”Sometimes I think we really shoot ourselves in the foot because we spend more time worrying and arguing about how we have no time than if we just let our hair down once in a while.”

Perfectly said. Yes. Discussing how hard we have it (no matter what “it” is) is only useful if it spurs action, rather than just more discussion.