Comments on: do babies belong at the bar? http://thehappiestmom.com/?p=799 Happy. Mother. You really can use both words in the same sentence. Mon, 06 Sep 2010 22:58:01 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: Windy weather at butterflylike network http://thehappiestmom.com/?p=799&cpage=2#comment-5534 Windy weather at butterflylike network Tue, 17 Aug 2010 20:32:34 +0000 http://thehappiestmom.com/?p=799#comment-5534 [...] account of BlogHer ’10, and then of BlogHer ’09, which led me to the question of whether babies belong at BlogHer parties and bars in general or not, and to tell you the truth, I resent the question itself. First of all, it’s BlogHer! [...] [...] account of BlogHer ’10, and then of BlogHer ’09, which led me to the question of whether babies belong at BlogHer parties and bars in general or not, and to tell you the truth, I resent the question itself. First of all, it’s BlogHer! [...]

]]> By: Agatha Tomaszycki http://thehappiestmom.com/?p=799&cpage=2#comment-2938 Agatha Tomaszycki Wed, 03 Feb 2010 11:09:40 +0000 http://thehappiestmom.com/?p=799#comment-2938 Laptops will revolutionize the country when they are accessible to everyone financially. Think of every man and women, having a personal laptop. Laptops will revolutionize the country when they are accessible to everyone financially. Think of every man and women, having a personal laptop.

]]> By: Betty Duffy http://thehappiestmom.com/?p=799&cpage=2#comment-2043 Betty Duffy Mon, 03 Aug 2009 20:54:48 +0000 http://thehappiestmom.com/?p=799#comment-2043 I've heard it put that children are in a constant state of movement away from their mothers. ie. from the womb, to the arms, to the floor, up the stairs, and out the door. That first step from the womb to the arms, in my mind, is a very small one, and I tend to think of my breastfeeding newborn as an appendage or extension of my maternal body--therefore, baby goes wherever I go, and I edit my outings as necessary. That said, I've been to movies, poetry readings, churches, on airplanes (though never a bar) when each of my five kids were newborns, without issue. And though no one's given me a hard time about it, I like to think that when people see that the baby is happy and quiet, they can relax. It seems like when baby moves to floor, things get complicated. I'm stressed having him out. He's stressed to be contained in my arms, and if I have to go someplace that requires a quiet contained baby, I back out, or pump him some milk and leave him at home. Works for me. Works for the kid. I don't really see what other people would have to complain about. I’ve heard it put that children are in a constant state of movement away from their mothers. ie. from the womb, to the arms, to the floor, up the stairs, and out the door. That first step from the womb to the arms, in my mind, is a very small one, and I tend to think of my breastfeeding newborn as an appendage or extension of my maternal body–therefore, baby goes wherever I go, and I edit my outings as necessary. That said, I’ve been to movies, poetry readings, churches, on airplanes (though never a bar) when each of my five kids were newborns, without issue. And though no one’s given me a hard time about it, I like to think that when people see that the baby is happy and quiet, they can relax. It seems like when baby moves to floor, things get complicated. I’m stressed having him out. He’s stressed to be contained in my arms, and if I have to go someplace that requires a quiet contained baby, I back out, or pump him some milk and leave him at home. Works for me. Works for the kid. I don’t really see what other people would have to complain about.

]]> By: Kerrie http://thehappiestmom.com/?p=799&cpage=2#comment-2038 Kerrie Sun, 02 Aug 2009 21:50:14 +0000 http://thehappiestmom.com/?p=799#comment-2038 Unfortinately, I have to politely disagree with your post. I'm a mid-20's professional female currently without children (I do make up part of the HER still, regardless of the fact that I've chosen not to have children yet). You seem to think it's a problem that many people do not approve of small babies or children "Out at parties, out at the movies, out at night, out at a conference…" etc. I am one of these people. I don't. I prefer to spend my adult time with adults, regardless of whether the child in question at a function is specifically offending me. I think this is my choice and right - just as it was another woman's choice and right to have said child. I think the reverse respect is true. I was once at a child's birthday party at Chuck-e-Cheese when a group of happy-go-lucky partying-type college-aged kids entered the restaurant. They were promptly denied entry. Was this the appropriate response on the part of the restaurant? Absolutely - the restaurant's primary goal should be to preserve the happiness and safety of it's key demographic - children and families. The same holds true for restaurants, bars, and movie theaters. But if we want to state that individuals (and kids) act with a maturity level and behavior requisite to their age and thus are entitled to the same rights to be at parties, movies, restaurants, then these college kids should have had the right to be admitted, correct? They're just being loud college kids, and weren't we all college kids once? The fact of the matter is, I am sure there are many wonderful babies out there that might be able to behave through a movie, party, etc, and maybe there are many many mothers out there with the appropriate level of judgement to discern where and when to take their infant, given its disposition and typical behavior - I hope someday I am one - but there are equally as many who can't and/or choose not to. Maybe it's unfair that those few spoil it for the rest of mother's, but you'll note throughout life there's always one that ruins it for the group - the one kid on the field trip that gets the class banned from the capital for spitting, the one teenager caught drinking who gets post-prom cancelled for everyone else, the one kid who cheats in college that requires everyone else to submit all their sources for a paper... it's not fair, but that's life. Unfortinately, I have to politely disagree with your post. I’m a mid-20′s professional female currently without children (I do make up part of the HER still, regardless of the fact that I’ve chosen not to have children yet). You seem to think it’s a problem that many people do not approve of small babies or children “Out at parties, out at the movies, out at night, out at a conference…” etc. I am one of these people. I don’t. I prefer to spend my adult time with adults, regardless of whether the child in question at a function is specifically offending me. I think this is my choice and right – just as it was another woman’s choice and right to have said child. I think the reverse respect is true. I was once at a child’s birthday party at Chuck-e-Cheese when a group of happy-go-lucky partying-type college-aged kids entered the restaurant. They were promptly denied entry. Was this the appropriate response on the part of the restaurant? Absolutely – the restaurant’s primary goal should be to preserve the happiness and safety of it’s key demographic – children and families. The same holds true for restaurants, bars, and movie theaters. But if we want to state that individuals (and kids) act with a maturity level and behavior requisite to their age and thus are entitled to the same rights to be at parties, movies, restaurants, then these college kids should have had the right to be admitted, correct? They’re just being loud college kids, and weren’t we all college kids once? The fact of the matter is, I am sure there are many wonderful babies out there that might be able to behave through a movie, party, etc, and maybe there are many many mothers out there with the appropriate level of judgement to discern where and when to take their infant, given its disposition and typical behavior – I hope someday I am one – but there are equally as many who can’t and/or choose not to. Maybe it’s unfair that those few spoil it for the rest of mother’s, but you’ll note throughout life there’s always one that ruins it for the group – the one kid on the field trip that gets the class banned from the capital for spitting, the one teenager caught drinking who gets post-prom cancelled for everyone else, the one kid who cheats in college that requires everyone else to submit all their sources for a paper… it’s not fair, but that’s life.

]]> By: Lee http://thehappiestmom.com/?p=799&cpage=2#comment-2021 Lee Wed, 29 Jul 2009 03:52:25 +0000 http://thehappiestmom.com/?p=799#comment-2021 Thank you! My Sentiment Exactly. You hit the nail on the head. It is the adults carrying these babies that are the ones to blame if ever there were a problem. I won't deny that I am far from an attachment parent. I would never have dreamed to bring a baby or child with me to BlogHer. When I arrived and saw that others had brought their babies though, it didn't bother me. I loved getting on an elevator with a precious little one, it made my day. I think that the mother (was it you) who showed up at the Nikon party with the baby probably should have asked if the baby was invited. Not expecting them to say no of course, but just as that courtesy. But my only issues with babies were as you said, more with the parents. I sat through a class with a baby that was fussy. Fussy enough that I had a hard time hearing the speakers because their mics weren't working well. It took a good 4 minutes for that mother to get up and leave. That doesn't sound long, but it is. Just know your audience, that is all I can say. Lee :) Thank you! My Sentiment Exactly. You hit the nail on the head. It is the adults carrying these babies that are the ones to blame if ever there were a problem. I won’t deny that I am far from an attachment parent. I would never have dreamed to bring a baby or child with me to BlogHer. When I arrived and saw that others had brought their babies though, it didn’t bother me. I loved getting on an elevator with a precious little one, it made my day. I think that the mother (was it you) who showed up at the Nikon party with the baby probably should have asked if the baby was invited. Not expecting them to say no of course, but just as that courtesy.

But my only issues with babies were as you said, more with the parents. I sat through a class with a baby that was fussy. Fussy enough that I had a hard time hearing the speakers because their mics weren’t working well. It took a good 4 minutes for that mother to get up and leave. That doesn’t sound long, but it is.

Just know your audience, that is all I can say.

Lee :)

]]> By: casual friday every day http://thehappiestmom.com/?p=799&cpage=2#comment-2020 casual friday every day Wed, 29 Jul 2009 02:47:40 +0000 http://thehappiestmom.com/?p=799#comment-2020 I'm blown away by the behavior and actions of some of the women who went to blogher. I've yet to hear any bad stories of babies pushing other babies out of the way for swag, or not talking to another baby because their blog wasn't popular enough. Give me a break, people. I would never feel odd that someone brought a baby. I;d love to see that! Nell I’m blown away by the behavior and actions of some of the women who went to blogher. I’ve yet to hear any bad stories of babies pushing other babies out of the way for swag, or not talking to another baby because their blog wasn’t popular enough. Give me a break, people. I would never feel odd that someone brought a baby. I;d love to see that!

Nell

]]> By: Adventures In Babywearing http://thehappiestmom.com/?p=799&cpage=2#comment-2019 Adventures In Babywearing Tue, 28 Jul 2009 23:06:39 +0000 http://thehappiestmom.com/?p=799#comment-2019 OK, finally commenting on this one, I know a little late but I was reading it all from my phone the other night! I think you say it all so eloquently and I especially thank you for your edit there at the bottom. No matter what I'm going to consider what is best for me and baby (as I thought I was) but I need to realize for me this means that I might not do as much, and that is totally ok. Steph OK, finally commenting on this one, I know a little late but I was reading it all from my phone the other night! I think you say it all so eloquently and I especially thank you for your edit there at the bottom. No matter what I’m going to consider what is best for me and baby (as I thought I was) but I need to realize for me this means that I might not do as much, and that is totally ok.

Steph

]]> By: Sajmom http://thehappiestmom.com/?p=799&cpage=2#comment-2018 Sajmom Mon, 27 Jul 2009 19:15:31 +0000 http://thehappiestmom.com/?p=799#comment-2018 I would like to add that some mothers do not have the option to hire a sitter. (I have never attended a conference, nor is it likely to ever happen. But I do appear in public with children). I realize this is not typical of the mothers commenting on parenting blogs, but we do exist! Please keep that in mind when you are judging mothers you see about with small children. I am low income and also do not drive. So when I go to the grocery store I have four kids in tow and we don't have a car to go chill out in if someone gets cranky. I do my best to be considerate of others (don't go when they're hungry or tired, continually reminding the kids to keep voices low, move over so someone can pass us, etc.). But reality with young children, particularly more than the socially acceptable one or two kids!, is that sometimes someone melts, sometimes they fight, sometimes they forget their manners. This does not happen only at predictable times. A sitter is not an option for me, and because we walk everywhere I have less control over being able to just walk out if things get a little dicey. If someone's melting is it better to walk all the way home without the groceries only to have to make the trip out later on? (Ocasionally yes, but most of the time no that would just make everyone more tired and more likely to act out). Not all moms have wonderful support systems, and these Moms are actually MORE LIKELY to need to get out of the house. Lack of support from jobs and our families/friends and judgement from everyone mainly hinders our ability to better care for our families and selves. Maybe the Mom out in the store late at night with her kids is out on the only day she has off from her job, or maybe she works second shift and late night is the only time she can spend with her child so they sleep in together mornings and get the same hours of sleep as a child going to bed earlier? My point is that all women do not have the same circumstances-you can't assume that choices different than your own are always the result of negligent parenting. Standing there judging the Mom's decision to have her children out with her doesn't help you or her, and it feeds that negative judgemental cycle women often get stuck in. Bottom line is that both sides need to be respected and respectful. I would like to add that some mothers do not have the option to hire a sitter. (I have never attended a conference, nor is it likely to ever happen. But I do appear in public with children). I realize this is not typical of the mothers commenting on parenting blogs, but we do exist! Please keep that in mind when you are judging mothers you see about with small children. I am low income and also do not drive. So when I go to the grocery store I have four kids in tow and we don’t have a car to go chill out in if someone gets cranky. I do my best to be considerate of others (don’t go when they’re hungry or tired, continually reminding the kids to keep voices low, move over so someone can pass us, etc.). But reality with young children, particularly more than the socially acceptable one or two kids!, is that sometimes someone melts, sometimes they fight, sometimes they forget their manners. This does not happen only at predictable times. A sitter is not an option for me, and because we walk everywhere I have less control over being able to just walk out if things get a little dicey. If someone’s melting is it better to walk all the way home without the groceries only to have to make the trip out later on? (Ocasionally yes, but most of the time no that would just make everyone more tired and more likely to act out). Not all moms have wonderful support systems, and these Moms are actually MORE LIKELY to need to get out of the house. Lack of support from jobs and our families/friends and judgement from everyone mainly hinders our ability to better care for our families and selves. Maybe the Mom out in the store late at night with her kids is out on the only day she has off from her job, or maybe she works second shift and late night is the only time she can spend with her child so they sleep in together mornings and get the same hours of sleep as a child going to bed earlier? My point is that all women do not have the same circumstances-you can’t assume that choices different than your own are always the result of negligent parenting. Standing there judging the Mom’s decision to have her children out with her doesn’t help you or her, and it feeds that negative judgemental cycle women often get stuck in. Bottom line is that both sides need to be respected and respectful.

]]> By: Stimey http://thehappiestmom.com/?p=799&cpage=2#comment-2017 Stimey Mon, 27 Jul 2009 19:02:46 +0000 http://thehappiestmom.com/?p=799#comment-2017 I agree with you. I think it is up to the mother, and not the crowd, to decide what is appropriate for her and her child. I think a lot of the hoopla about it is hypocritical. Great post. I agree with you. I think it is up to the mother, and not the crowd, to decide what is appropriate for her and her child. I think a lot of the hoopla about it is hypocritical. Great post.

]]> By: Summer http://thehappiestmom.com/?p=799&cpage=2#comment-2016 Summer Mon, 27 Jul 2009 17:48:12 +0000 http://thehappiestmom.com/?p=799#comment-2016 I took my baby to BlogHer, and while there were some glares I really didn't care. We did the Type-A mom party but skipped the huge cocktail thing. Some thought it was crazy, one woman even stopped me to ask if I should have that glass of wine with my baby in tow. But in the end it's about us, what worked for my baby and what I felt comfortable with. I took my baby to BlogHer, and while there were some glares I really didn’t care. We did the Type-A mom party but skipped the huge cocktail thing. Some thought it was crazy, one woman even stopped me to ask if I should have that glass of wine with my baby in tow. But in the end it’s about us, what worked for my baby and what I felt comfortable with.

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